March winds blow and all that jazz

imageBy Becky Holland

When the March winds blow, they do blow hard, and this year, 2006, I wasn’t expexting what we got, but whew, we are still standing.

What kind of jibberish am I speaking?

March 24, 2006, I had a full hysterectomy and during this surgery, I had a large mass removed that was surrounding my right ovary, along with over two liters of fluid. The mass, according to the doctor, was seven pounds about as big as a basketball, though someone else who was in surgery said it looked like a full ham. I have seen pictures. It was big. I had endometrosis(which can cause an abnormal reading in the test that they do on your blood to reveal cancers in your body) pretty bad in my uterus which explained the pelvic pain I had had for a while.

We waited for pathology reports (Tuesday April 4 at 2) to see what was next. There was a potential of a little bit of chemo treatment. This is not a death sentence in fact, I was somewhat relieved because this makes sense of why I felt so bad for so long. I thought I was just fat.

Everything else looked to be in working order. Bloodwork, other organs in my body looked clean to the dr when she removed the mass. It was a clean removal with no fingerlike things sticking out from it. So, all my female organs were removed. Three years before this, I had the second thyroid surgery to remove all those things. Not long after this surgery, I had my gall bladder out. A few years before that, I had my tonsils out.

Doing research, I discovered many women who have had similar situations and some have had chemo and some not, but all have survived and felt so much better after. Hormone replacement wasn’t fun. I can blame any nuttin’ up on that. Those who know me – know that nuttin’ up was pure out crazy. I was in the deepest pit, and didn’t know if I was going to get out, and I tried so hard to not take anyone with me.

Finally, at age 46, I am still fighting being overweight – thanks to no thyroid and a crappy metabolism but I feel a little more balanced. They say I am about out of menopause. All I can say is YAY!

I have faced death three times due to health, and once due to a car accident where the state patrolman and the tow truck driver told us they were surprised I was alive or not seriously hurt.

My head cracked the windshield might hard.

Yet, I still try to control my life. I still fuss. I still try to speed through God’s plan. I still worry. I still make mistakes. I still overeat. I still …

Being human isn’t easy. Being a Christian human is even a little harder – because you know what is right (choosing God’s way) and what is wrong (doing all the things I mentioned).

I keep being able to put my feet on the floor each morning, walk, sometimes slowly and I still have the functions necessary to live a life – maybe a little hard of hearing and a little achey – but I am living.

Which brings me to my point.

All of the riots, all of the protests, all of the hatred, all of the dirty politics, all of it – really isn’t necessary. All of the worry. We are all here. We may have lost some loved ones a long the way, but their purposes were fulfilled. We are still here.

Instead of venting on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or throwing together a protest or a riot, let’s remember, we are here. We can make changes without violent behavior. We can make changes without cursing. We can make changes without lying or gossiping. We can make changes without selling ourselves short.

Just take it one step at a time.

Just my ramblings.

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