Me-A Southern Belle?

southern_belle_1472By Becky Holland
Can you see it? Becky Holland as a Southern Belle, dressed like Scarlett O’Hara, fanning myself like I am some total innocent, naive creature. Okay, okay, that is not that funny of picture. Quit laughing, Daddy. Momma. I could be a Southern Belle. According to the rules, I fit some of the qualities and characteristics of a Southern Belle–okay, well, one out of 100 ain’t bad.
Let’s see ya’ll do any better. My friend, Tessa, who lives in North Caroliny, (I did that on purpose-it is a typo done intentionally!), sent me some questions about being a Southern Belle on email. Fellas, do the ladies in your life sound like this? Women, do you meet any of these qualifications? Well, if you can relate to at least 10 of the following, then you are a Southern Belle or your lady is one!
Southern Belles know bad manners when they see them. Do you? Did you know that drinking straight out of a can is considered rude and crude? What about not sending thank you notes? And glory be, if you wear your velvet after February or you white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day, you are considered a HELLION!!(Did I spell that right?) Southern Belles have winning smiles(and we’re not talking about the kind that the plastic surgeon gives you) and dewy skin. Southern Belles don’t sweat-they glisten.
You know you are a Southern Belle when you know everyone’s first name! Honey! Darlin’! Sugah(another intentional typo)! Baby! (I didn’t know that was a Southern Belle thing, I honestly do that because I am getting forgetful even at 46!). Southern girls know their religions-Baptist, Methodist, and Football.
Southern Belles know the seasons-recruiting, spring training, practice and football. Hello, what about PEACH SEASON? (No disrespect to the coaches and players in my life-but give me some peaches first!).
You know you are Southern Belle if you have in your Home DVD or VHS collection-well watched copies of “Gone With The Wind,” “Fried Green Tomatoes,”, “Driving Miss Daisy,” and “Steel Magnolias.” Ya’ll know I am a Georgian at heart, but “Sweet Home Alabama” was the best.
You know you are a Southern Belle if for breakfast you have some red-eye gravy, grits, country ham, and mouth watering homemade biscuits. If it is microwavable-I can do it, though right now I am without a microwave and am having to learn how to, dare I say it, c-o-o-k! You know you are a Southern Belle if the following is prime real estate-the Mall, the Country Club, and the Beauty Salon. Does being able to spot a Walmart from two to three miles a way count?
Okay, maybe I am not a Southern Belle, maybe I am the Southern Belle’s Step-Sister or something. Either way, doesn’t matter. I am proud to be a Southerner! Are you?

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