Eau de air biscuits from the dog

14980698_357649917915732_4479271858033825398_nBy Becky Holland, thecrazymuttink@gmail.com

Flatulence is the cause of mixed emotions among those who have it, and a lot of times for those who are sitting or walking near those who have it.

Flatulence can cause tears, gag reflexes, disgust and even moments of sickness for anyone around when it happens – even the one who produces the flatulence.

Flatulence also can provide moments of embarrassment.

For most boys under the age of 12, flatulence can cause a great deal of laughter.

Just saying the word flatulence, or using one of zillion terms it is known as – like passing gas, farting, tooting, cut a muffin, air biscuit,  cut a melon, cut the cheese, pass wind, let one rip, Arkansas barking spider, rip one, step on a duck, trouser cough and butt blast – creates a fit of giggles for any gender and any age.

Who am I trying to be politically correct? I know I laugh when I hear someone toot or fart or even when I do it myself. (At the same time,  I cover my nose.)

Passing gas is just a part of life – for anyone – no matter how prim and proper you try to be. It is what it is.

Even for dogs.

My dog has cut many a backside burp and passed lots of wind. He has cut several muffins and thrown loose some air biscuits. His can be of silent, and deadly, and loud and nasty, even for him.

Today, he was laying on the bed, and I was sitting where I am now, writing some gibberish on the computer, when WHAM, the mixed aroma of eggs and some other vile substance hit me between my eyes, ears and nostrils. “Whoo. Tobias.” I squealed and threw my shirt over my nose.

I turned around to look at him, and he was standing, looking at me. He turned around and sniffed toward his rear. His ears stood up. Yeah, he wasn’t denying that one.

“Gross dog.” I got up to find the air freshener, and sprayed it around. “Talk about flatulence.”

He was sitting down on the bed, and he had this look on his face. It was the same look my cousins got or my nephews got when they had farted. You know how boys are – the goofy grin.

Whew …. Life with the dog never has a dull moment.

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